Courage

Lately I have received several private messages and e-mails congratulating me on being so courageous. To tell you the truth, I don't feel courageous and all. I feel insecure, anxious, and like our business plans are running in slow motion. I feel frustrated with myself, that I did not take all of the learning opportunities through that I have had in the past. I sure could have used them now.

What others are viewing is courage; I am viewing as acting out of necessity.

After 15 years in the leasing industry, I was let go from my previous job, without a clear explanation or for any obvious cause. In retrospect, I realize that I was used to create the base platform of leasing company and another was brought in to grow the portfolio at all costs. In retrospect, it's obvious that because I was not hired by this individual, that no matter what I had done, I would never be on his team. Obviously, this led to my separation.

This separation, although not unexpected, came as a shock and forced me to look at other alternatives. I have interviewed for several job positions, both in the leasing industry and outside of the leasing industry, but I have not received any response. My suspicion is that the lack of response is due to the holiday season. However, it is still on the back of my mind that maybe it isn't.

The end result is, if I am to be broke anyway; I would rather be poor doing something I love. I would rather stand up for my own sense of honor and integrity, then to roll over because of the pressures that I'm now facing. As stated in an earlier blog, I would rather stand for something.

I do not think that I am more courageous than anybody else. Think of all the people that are now unemployed, having a hard time supporting their families and the extraordinary effort that these people are going through in order to meet their obligations. I know several people with their MBAs that are now working the graveyard shift at a convenience store or stocking shelves at Wal-Mart in order to support their families.

These people are truly courageous.

In these difficult economic times it is very common for people like us to be frightened into hibernation. We refuse to spend money, we refuse to take any kind of risk and in the end we refuse to invest in our future. We are so afraid of losing what we have that we refuse to reach out for something better.

I know this blog is getting long, but let me tell you a story:

The story is about a little girl who for her eighth birthday received a necklace of fake pearls. She loved this necklace with all of her heart and wore them faithfully to church every Sunday. Shortly before her 10th birthday, her father asked her if he might have her pearl necklace. She refused because she loved that necklace. He then repeated this request for several weeks. 

On the night before her 10th birthday, she acquiesced. 

She told her father that she loved him far more than a string of plastic pearls, and that he could have them. In a tearful response, the father took the string of pearls from his daughter and said thank you. Within 10 min., the father came back into the room and presented his daughter with a genuine pearl necklace. This father told his daughter that he loved her greater than anything, and that she simply needed to exercise her faith because no matter how much he loved her, that there was a father in heaven that loved her far more. And that God would surely reward those who are faithful.

I wish that I was as courageous as this 10-year-old girl.